


How "The Rise of Skywalker" should go

by charlottesometimes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Kylo Ren Redemption, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 20:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21398509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottesometimes/pseuds/charlottesometimes
Summary: Luke figures out how to solve the war about five minutes after arriving in force ghost land. This is crack.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	How "The Rise of Skywalker" should go

“Oh, thank the fucking force,” Luke Skywalker said, manifesting in the air a few feet from Rey. 

Kylo Ren stopped in his tracks, lightsaber held above his head. He’d just spotted Rey Nobody across the battlefield on Bantuu. He hadn’t seen her since Crait. Now was his chance to end the Resistance’s last hope. To end the stupid girl who had rejected him. To finally, once and for _ all _ this time _ rid himself of the light _—

“Okay, Ben, I’m going to stop you right there,” Luke said. He glowed blue, shimmering like a hologram, but there was no droid in sight to be broadcasting him. 

“I’m a force ghost,” Luke said. 

Kylo lowered his weapon. “Are you reading my thoughts?”

“Yeah, they’re like, written in the air above your head for me,” Luke said. “One of the benefits of being dead and part of the Force, I guess. I don’t have to ‘use’ the Force anymore, it just does its thing.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Um.” Rey cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Kylo Ren. Weren’t you going to fight me?” 

Luke rolled his eyes at her. “Don’t tempt him.” 

Kylo Ren tried to glower. “I’m already tempted.” 

“Right, right, of course.” Luke leaned against a downed ATST. Sparks flew from it, but Luke pretended not to notice. “But shut up and listen to me.” 

“But I—” 

“No. I’ve waited literally a year for Rey and you to be in the same place. Turns out there’s not enough light in you for a Force ghost to hit you up without a conduit, so I needed Rey. _ Also _ it turns out that you can’t appear to someone who didn’t have a connection with, in life. So that’s why _ I’m _here instead of someone else. I’m here on his behalf.” 

A scream from nearby made both Rey and Kylo Ren start and turn, lips parted. Kylo hid the instinct immediately; Rey craned her neck until she saw that it was just a stormtrooper being run through with his own electrostaff. Then she turned back to Luke placidly. 

“Someone else?” Kylo Ren asked. 

“Your grandfather,” Luke replied. 

“My grandfather has come to me already.” 

Luke scoffed. “Nope. That was Snoke manipulating your mind. _ Obviously. _” 

Kylo — Ben — bared his teeth. “How dare you—” 

“His message,” Luke said, louder than his nephew, “is this: ‘Stop being a complete, total fucking loser. You don’t even _ like _ the First Order. Everything Snoke said about my life is a lie. I was miserable the _ whole time _I was a badass. Also, you’re not even really that much of a badass! Have you ever even slaughtered any children? No. Try to be good from now on and we’ll be square. Someday we’ll hang out, just you, me, and Luke. Do you play dominos?’” 

Kylo’s expression was a complete blank. “Do I play dominos.” 

“Maybe I added that part. The rest comes from Anakin.” 

Rey chose that moment to pick her jaw up off the ground. “Is that what all this is about?” she asked. “All the killing and the emotional instability and the almost-crying-all-the-time? You thought you saw your grandfather in visions, but it was just Snoke?” 

“More or less,” Luke answered before Kylo Ren could collect himself. “He’s an idiot.” 

“How do I know any of this is true?” Kylo asked. 

“We know everything Snoke told you, when he was pretending to be Anakin. I referenced some of it already. Like, how he told you that Darth Vader was more or less happy and fulfilled by his power during his life. He was not. Does that not help you decide?” 

“How do I know you are who you say you are?” 

Luke narrowed his eyes menacingly. “You _ prefer,” _ he said, “your hot _ chocolate _ made with _ water. _” 

Rey’s jaw hit the floor again. “You really are a monster.” 

Kylo depowered his lightsaber. “Fuck,” he said. “Can I get a lift to the Resistance Base, Rey?” 

Luke nodded to Rey before she could protest. 

“And I’m going to need some different clothes,” Ben went on. 

“I can’t believe you just accepted anything Snoke told you,” Rey said as they took off toward the Falcon. 

“In my defense, when it started, I was 12,” Ben replied. Then he stopped dead in his tracks. 

Rey stopped and turned to look at him. 

“You know,” he said, “I’m not evil anymore. This means we can bang now.” 

Rey exhaled in sheer relief. “Oh thank god.” 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kidding, I don't actually think this is how the rise of skywalker should go.


End file.
